Sweet Affirmation


Now listen, and believe me, I am not just saying this because I'm your mother... You are the prettiest, nicest girl in the entire school, not to mention the brightest, and if you don't believe me just go look in the mirror. Don't worry...one day your ship will come in.

(Thank you, Vicki & Mike Sweet, for making sure I knew I was the brightest and the best, even in my own mind. As parents and human beings, you rock. Because of you, I am able to spread some of that love and affirmation around. Pass it on!)

Thursday, October 29, 2009

10 Years, 10 Things


As of October 24th, Andrew and I have been married for 10 years. 10 years! It's astonishing to me that he has been able to put up with me for that long, plus the time it took for us to get hooked up in the first place. I'm fairly certain he'll never read this post, because he kind of ignores my posts to Facebook and Twitter, but I'm doing it for me. I know I have a really good life, and he's a huge part of that, on a daily basis. And that alone is worth some overt appreciation.

I would like to list 10 things that make me grateful I am married to Andrew Browder. Among other things, he is my favorite...

1. Bug Remover. When someone in the house shrieks at a bug running across the carpet or up the wall, he scoops it up and takes it outside. Our distinct impression is that he does not actually kill the bug (bad) but instead just removes it from our direct line of sight (good).

2. Errand Runner. This man knows how to make a list, and check things off. He can leave the house and come home two hours later after stopping at the post office (a package I forgot to mail), the shoe repair shop (fix a broken heel), Target (more Halloween candy, just in case), one of the kids' schools (form that needs a signature), Walgreen's (pick up a prescription) and the deli (lunch for us). He makes it look so easy.

3. Softie. Everyone who knows Andrew knows he shows his emotions, often, and can't really hide them even when he tries. He cried at our wedding. He cries talking about his grandparents. He cries at sappy commercials, even before I do! He calls Tate his "snuggie" and he kisses Quin every day when he drops him off at school. I am so glad I married a man who is not afraid to show his real emotions, on his face and in his words.

4. Exerciser. He takes care of himself, mainly to feel good, but it also keeps him in great shape. He runs, bikes, does that crazy hot yoga... and while he's not obsessive about it, he makes sure to fit it in. I admire him for it and appreciate what all this exercise does for him. He looks hot.

5. Organizer of stuff. How would I ever find anything if it weren't for Andrew? He is constantly putting away my shoes, moving my piles, throwing out unnecessary crap, folding and putting away the laundry, and is able to tell me where almost anything is when I ask. If we ever get audited, I am not worried. His file system is pretty impressive.

6. Fixer of things. Andrew is my own personal handyman. And everyone else's, too. If you need a dimmer installed, a toy repaired, a sink unclogged, a ceiling patched and repainted, an oil leak investigated...I've got the man for the job. Someone suggested he go into that "rent a husband" business, but I suggested he would be too good at the job and someone would try to snag him from me. No thanks, he's mine.

7. Goofball. My husband is silly, plain and simple. It's why kids love him and he's like the Pied Piper wherever we're at a park. Kids think his monster routines and knock-knock jokes are hilarious. With adults, he has a very dry, understated sense of humor. But he loves slapstick. And fart jokes. And good-natured ribbing. He likes to have fun, and not take things too seriously. Because I'm married to a goofball, it gives me permission to be a bit crazy, too...but also to be the sensible one when it's needed. He just makes me laugh.

8. Travel partner. I didn't even have a passport until I was 27, and Andrew had been to at least 20 countries by that time. He is an adventurous, awesome travel companion. He lets me plan the itinerary, but has definite ideas about things to see and do, which usually end up being kind of taxing, but always memorable and fun. Traveling with Andrew - with or without the kids, within the US or abroad - is one of my favorite things to do. I can't wait until our next excursion, always!

9. Pessimist. Andrew can find the flip side to any argument. Of course, this in itself has caused a few arguments. But I will say, that by always having to defend my Pollyanna ways, I've been forced to find rational arguments where an emotional, visceral first response would have headed me in the wrong direction. So Andrew forcing me to look at the shadowy side, not just the bright side, helps me make better decisions for the long run.

10. Epicurean. He likes good food, and he knows a good drink. He can cook, and he makes awesome cocktails. He finds the best dive restaurants, and makes reservations at the swankiest spots we can afford. He will drive miles out of the way to go to a brewery in the middle of nowhere, or a bakery in a rough part of town, all because he thinks I'll love it. When we travel together, he never makes me eat at a chain restaurant, and he takes my tastes into account when choosing between quirky (my style) and totally avant-garde (his style). He introduces me to new tastes, but he appreciates the old ones. His buffalo steak with red wine-butter sauce and caramelized onion omelets are legendary...and I can have them whenever I want!

Those are not necessarily the 10 most important or even noteworthy things that make Andrew who he is as a person, but they are some that I appreciate right now, after being on this journey with him for the past decade and looking forward to many years to come.

Being a Sweet means appreciating your mate, and not just in private. My husband is a very Sweet man, even if it's not his last name.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Dressing Up is Becoming


It's recently been pointed out to me that my philosophy on "dress up" in our home is not typical. We have a costume box, like many homes, that contains everything from basic capes and crowns, to tool belts and helmets, to very specific Star Wars and Disney movie characters. My sons LOVE dress-up, and they have since before they could completely dress themselves. They think about costumes year-round, and they wear them at least weekly, if not more frequently, almost anytime they want.

When other children come over to our house, dress-up is almost always on the agenda. Our costume box is full to the point of taking up most of the closet, and yet we welcome more. This is a legendary costume collection among the 4-to-7-year-old set we know. Neighbors and cousins love it, and my mother-in-law is a key contributor to it, often buying the boys 2 or 3 costumes around Halloween, when they are on sale. I rarely say "no" when asked, "Can we play costumes?"

I believe that dressing up allows a child to truly become someone else, even for a moment, and it is totally empowering...not to mention fun!

Quin is currently obsessed with Indiana Jones. For his 7th birthday, we got him a "real" Indiana Jones fedora (though made of study felt, it does look pretty good), a canvas satchel (aka "treat bag" for trick-or-treating) and a leather whip (thank you, CostumeExpress.com!). We went to Kohl's so he could pick out some tan cargo pants and a shirt. We found the pants. I also found an Indiana Jones LEGO t-shirt at the LEGO store, and that is now his favorite. However, what he really wants a shirt that buttons up, so he can leave it open to his stomach, like Harrison Ford does on the DVD box cover. (Yowza! Not sure that is a good look for a 1st grader, but we'll see...) He also is dying for a leather jacket. We are not going to settle for a "fake costume" with a shirt stitched to a vinyl jacket front, like they have at the Party Warehouse, but it may take me a lot of hunting through second hand stores to find a leather-ish jacket that will work. For now, he's wearing a brown fleece jacket that I got on sale at Lands End. The color was enough to make him smile for hours.

And this leads me to my point: when Quin dresses up in this assortment of adventure-looking clothing, he IS Indiana Jones. While wearing this get-up, he is intensely interested in ancient artifacts, he wants to protect people and to find long-lost treasure. He is learning to use a compass (thanks, Grammy, for the adventure kit!), and is excited to read more and longer words so he can navigate through jungles using complicated maps...leading to treasure, of course. He knows to use his whip only outside, away from other humans, and honestly, he's getting pretty good at it! He is motivated on a whole new level when he becomes Indiana Jones, and that is alright by me. It will be years before he figures out that having "a new girl in every movie" says something about his sexual lethario rep... Instead, he sees it as Indy having a lot of cool friends, just like Quin does in real life.

Another funny thing is the way the boys include one another in their costumed adventures. Currently, when Quin becomes Indy, his little brother becomes "Shorty," the Chinese sidekick Indy has in one of the film. Tate doesn't even care what he wears, as long as he is wearing the little Chinese hat we have, and he gets to follow along on the adventures all over the house, in the yard, and at the park. They are hilarious to watch. And I am so happy that they can "become" different people, and yet still find a way to include one another (e.g. Batmat & Robin, Luke Skywalker & Anakin or Darth Vader, Spider-man in both red/blue and black, king & knight, etc.). They are quite a pair. A documentary film crew would have fun in this house.

I'm glad they love it, and I will encourage it until they get "too old" for such simple pleasures, and we pass the costumes on to the next generation of superhero-adventurer-dragon slayers. Dress-up is a very Sweet thing.